In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. You know they only freaked out because you dropped the cool girl facade.I grew up the only child of older parents (who are also 10 years apart), and often felt like an awkward old lady trapped inside a teeny-bopper’s body. I admit, I wasn’t as physically attracted to him as I had been to other partners. Have you ever seen a girl with a hideous boyfriend and thought, “Seriously, how the f$*k did he pull that off? Either he's just a nice friggin’ dude; or being with him boosts her self-confidence. In my case, the age gap was actually a cavernous black hole defying space and time. He’s old and sick now, and she takes care of him (even financially), but she’s still partying and sleeping around. I sometimes imagine what would have happened if I had stayed with my older man. The last I heard, my older ex was in a tumultuous relationship with another 20-something, this time a singer reminiscent of Björk. I always seem to date guys between 10 to 20 years older than me, and from my relationships comes some of the best memories and experiences.
We gave them simple parameters: Consider a guy in his 20s or 30s. In short: At what point does a man's sexual escapades become a turn off? “If the number is over 25, things get a little hairy; and if it’s 30-40, I’m out.” - Sam M. That’s a lot of people if you’re in your 20s or 30s." - Kristen T.
But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.
The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.
There are some great benefits to having lots of sex. You're looking at a heightened risk of STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhea. “I would say more than 10 would be an eyebrow raiser because that would account for a few wild years and a few steady relationships.” - Brianne S.
In fact, research has found having 20 or more sexual partners reduces your risk of prostate cancer. And by having 20 or more sexual partners, what does that do to how women perceive you? “Anything over 15 makes me nervous that he’s more dirty than experienced…” - Julia C.